I feel like when you’re bigger you have to work that much harder at getting people to like you. Maybe I’m taking a pessimistic stance on humanity, but I know that I judge people to a certain degree on their physical appearance. I know it’s terrible that I do, but I can’t help it.

As a big girl, I feel that I can’t just walk into a room and giggle and toss my hair back and then suddenly have a date for every Friday that month. I don’t even know how to attract a guy like that. I’m not particularly feminine. I’m sarcastic and I crack jokes a lot… and are guys not into that anymore? Have they ever been?

I’m more of a guy than I am a girl. So, on that level, I suppose that’s why I’m not finding any guys, because I’m just ONE of the guys.

It’s really lame that in order for someone to find a date they have to conform to a stereotype, even if it is only briefly. Why am I going to string you along for a date or two and pretend to like shopping and shoes and counting calories when in reality my interests are video games, the internet and music? Why should I lie to you and then halfway through our relationship watch you have an epiphany that, BAM, suddenly, I am not a girly girl?

I don’t want to be fake and giggle stupidly in order to get your attention. I want you to like me for me. I know I’m not pretty. I know I’m not thin. But I am a pretty fantastic person, shallow assumptions aside. I really wish people would get over themselves, sometimes.

I got on the scale today.

I was 245.

This has got to stop. I am not going to get any heavier.

tintedtawny:

Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. Yeah, that’s right.

Day Two- How tall are you? Do you like your height?

I’m 5’4. But I like to say I’m 5’4.5, to make myself feel better.

And no, honestly, I don’t really, but I don’t have a choice in the matter. I wish I was a little taller, maybe. But then again, I really like guys that are taller than me, so… maybe I am at a good height :)

fatweddings:

what do I love more than bigger brides?
bigger brides that have tattoos!

Day One - Your stats

Height: 5’4

Weight: 235 lb

Unless you mean measurements. In which case, I’m lazy as fuq and I don’t want to do them.

30 Day Weight Loss Challenge

theventingtann:

Day One- Your stats

Day Two- How tall are you? Do you like your height?
Day Three- A picture of your thinsperation. What features do you like about this person?
Day Four- Your greatest fears about weight loss.
Day Five- Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you?
Day Six- Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.
Day Seven- Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care?
Day Eight- Your workout routine.
Day Nine- Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
Day Ten- What was the hardest thing you gave up during this “weight loss.”
Day Eleven- Your favorite thinspo blog and why!
Day Twelve- What do you normally eat?
Day Thirteen- Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Day fourteen- What’s your UGW? When you expect to reach it?
Day Fifteen- Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
Day Sixteen- When did you first decide to lose weight?
Day Seventeen- Do you have an eating disorder?
Day Eighteen- What food is your weakness?
Day Nineteen- When is the last time you ate fast food?
Day Twenty- Favorite diet?
Day Twenty-One- What are your clothing sizes?
Day Twenty-Two- What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
Day Twenty-Three- Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
Day Twenty-Four- How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia
Day Twenty-Five- Have you ever purged? If you have describe your first experience.
Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?
Day Twenty-Seven- How do you deal with being around food?
Day Twenty-Eight- Do you want that “gap” between your legs? Why?
Day Twenty-Nine- Your definition of beauty.
Day Thirty- 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

Progress

Date: June 18, 2011
Age: 18
Weight: 238

Currently: Relaxing. Playing some Assassin’s Creed. Just had a bowl of ice cream.

Self-esteem: I’m trying to figure it out. Anyone can be sexy if they feel comfortable in their own skin. Problem is, I don’t. That’s what I need to work on, I suppose.

Looking forward to: my internship. Getting a call from gamestop.

Want: A cigarette, as per usual. To finish fics, but I can’t concentrate.

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